Thursday, 28 February 2008

The day the conifers died…

I live near the centre of Uttoxeter and what was an entry point to the old cattle market (now a residential development) has had two enormous conifers guarding its entrance but no more…

I’ve enjoyed the bit of greenery along with some other mature deciduous trees as a view amongst the rooftops but today I awoke to the sound of chain saws and the sight of men on hydraulic platforms ending the life of these two leviathans.

OK they were a tad large LOL, but they were part of an area identity providing shelter from the elements for JCB workers enjoying a lunchtime spliff, various town drunks & junkies and even the occasional courting couple. I suppose their death was sealed when they became seagull roosts that deposited more than their fair share of shit on the pavement rivalling the dog muck that plagues the town streets.

Still I hate to see any tree felled. The developer cleared six or more mature trees in my direct view to build their high-density housing and there seems to be no requirement on them to plant new trees. Still on the other hand a nice piece of tarmac well who could ask for more…

Spoke at length to “L” today as I’ve started the process to rationalise and move on. Me leaving Gravesend after just 24 hours of visit was a joint decision and the right one.

It achieves nothing to allocate blame. I’m at fault, as I can’t cope with the demons “L” carries from treatment as a child. When someone is denied love & affection as a child the affects can take many years to clear. I speak here, as an observer as I had plenty of love shown to me as a child.

My own mild clinical depression doesn’t help but it’s up to me to sort that out by moving and starting over.

I found this, which aptly describes my condition: -

At the end of the day though a relationship between “L” & I can’t work.

“L” can’t change and I can’t handle aspects of “L”’s personality.

I tried a last chance option of coming here for a few days but the evasion told me everything I ever needed to know.

Today two conifers fell and today two people fell out of love.

It would have been so much nicer, in my view, if neither had happened but then life is not always nice…

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