Well “L” and I have spoken about the weekend and its results. “L” read me a poem that basically said I was consumed by jealousy and fear of “L” going back to her Ex.
Maybe there is some truth in that but what broke my resolve to try to make the relationship work was the sequence of calls and events that took place.
I don’t want to write that detail here (or argue it) but I didn’t write the earlier blog entry without reason.
That the relationship is irretrievably over is very obvious from the tone of voice of the conversations and I think it’s for the best.
I am on a path of unstoppable self-destruction and all I would have achieved is taking “L” with me. I saw that danger at the beginning and its not diminished.
You know of all my transsexual friends not one of them has a solid meaningful relationship and only one of them has a successful career and that’s in the sex industry.
I think it is in the nature of things that that is the fate you face when you step outside society’s conventions. You become the cause of their prejudice.
A loving relationship for a transsexual person with a non-transsexual is almost impossible and that’s a hard lesson to take on board.
I’ll be pleased when my battles in this life are over and I can rest in peace…