Tuesday, 4 December 2007

There are two people in my life that I love more than I can ever say.

Chris, my ex, who gave me the skills to overcome the physical constraints of my Ankylosing Spondylitis so that I could eventually face up to and become the person I am. She has supported me as my “sister” through my transition.

And there is “L”.

“L” has taught me so much and loved me despite me still “running away from myself” and repeatedly trying to destroy the relationship. I’ll never know quite how it all happened but it has and I thank God for bringing us together.

Life can appear a random series of unconnected events and whilst we all have free will then that’ll always appear to be the case but that ignores unconditional love. It is love that gives us our meaning and direction and I’ve learnt that from “L”.

Last night we had the most amazing conversation. There is absolutely nothing we can’t share. OK sometimes the strength and depth of it hurts and one or both of us cry but that’s a transitory price as we two become one in terms of our understanding of each other’s innermost thoughts, fears and emotions.

It’s scary as hell sometimes but neither of us would want to stop now. We’ve invested so much truth and that guarantees us a real and sustained friendship forever.

We are lovers too and long may that continue but the physical side is secondary to the spiritual one. The strength of what we have is based on that unconditional love that everyone needs to fulfil his or her destiny and that’s the most precious gift you can give or receive.

Christmas “lull” aside I’m going into a major period of testing of my resolve and beliefs in truth & justice. With “L” at my side I should survive the stress of it all and come out stronger. Watch this space… LOL

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