Sunday, 4 November 2007

When does friendship become love?

It’s always been one of those difficult things to decide. Falling in love at first sight is rare though I’ll admit I’ve done it! I’ll never forget Chris walking into my life (stage left) and knowing instantly I’d met my soul mate. We had four amazing years before changes in me started to sour things and I knew I had to go. I’ll never regret our time together and that we are still close friends is a great comfort to me.

Now I’ve met someone on the web who I find rather special. It’s all wrong though! Too big an age difference, geographic distance too far apart and some huge differences in basics like food tastes etc. Simple things like I don’t like television but they love it pail into insignificance when we talk about our innermost thoughts.

I don’t know what’s happening, I know they are way in front of me in terms of their feelings but I can’t stop the conversations and where they might lead. I’m not fully in control, which is scary, but somehow it’s not unpleasant. As the song goes “Let’s dance to Joy Division Let’s feel the irony. This could all go so wrong but I’m so happy!”

At least we both like the same music and since that’s the biggest thing in my life it can’t be all bad! I just don’t want to have to cope with upsetting my new friend as maybe they’ve got a “halo” view of me. I respect their honesty and incredible ability to reveal things that I’d have kept hidden if it was me. Mind you I’ve not hidden any of my skeletons and I’ve got a few.

So big decision is do we meet? One minute I think yeah why not? Then the why nots kick in and I think No! It’s not over yet though you could say it’s not really started…

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