Wednesday, 7 November 2007

Future? What Future?

There are lots of reasons not to write this but I need to…

I live one day at a time because I can’t see good times anymore.

When I was younger I was always on the go and I had it all in some peoples eyes. Lots of cash, detached house, Jaguar Car, foreign holidays, a partner & a lover – what more could one want?

But that’s the catch of modern life it has no real value.

Now I’m not advocating a return to some bygone age or a religious state as some mop heads would have us live in. I’m like many others saying there must be more and a better way?

I’ve become very fond of an amazing person.

I can easily lose them with my intellect, well intelligence really, but they can lose me just as easily with their wisdom.

So where does it go?

I’m scared I have the capacity to destroy them as I can so easily do to myself.

This is not the basis for something good.

They’ve not got much but they’ve offered me everything and I’ve said, and meant what I said, too much too soon. The one step at a time advice of my friends is right but that went out of the window.

So now what?

A break from the intensity and pause to reflect and let sense prevail I hope.

Lots of things are happening this month and I suppose I decide on whether I have a future afterwards. That’s sensible & pragmatic but that’s not always how I am!

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